From the Moment We are Born we Begin to Die

 

 I'm not sure I ever want to make money from my art, or try to hustle it, or use it so badly as that. Art has another purpose in my life. Since I can't help but draw and paint I'll keep doing it, sure! but art is no Career. That would cheapen it. 

I did this painting for therapy and I'll share it with you. That's proof of my own generosity. I hope maybe it will help another person out there who is feeling ripped up and caged the same way as I do. I don't want to make a dime off my art, I just want to get through each ugly day. Making art affords me a chance to set my mind on something less ugly.

We are trying to start a revolution but have forgotten how to stand up for ourselves. We forget that YES we are born free, live free, and die free. We are all trying to get by. Find love. Find the next meal and a place to sleep safely. We are no more than animals. Look at how we treat animals - is it no wonder we treat each other so poorly? I am an animal. A ferocious one. A feral one. And one that wants to rip out her own heart and eat it.

It may sustain me another day. 

I'm Living

Bad things happen to good people. That's when we learn what we are really made of. I am made of some tough stuff, lemme tell ya! I decided not to get down about what I've gone through here in the USA, but instead I am making the very best of a scary situation. 

I don't travel as much as I'd like to. Now I think that's most likely a good thing. Being stranded in a country that is not your own can be scary, but it can also be exciting and wonderful. I found my way to my good friend here in the USA and she is nurturing me and caring for me. I'm glad I bounced back from my bad experience, glad I am as strong as I hoped I was.

So my impressions of the USA? Be careful and watch your step, but it can be fun......

Goddess Tryptic

 Here is a little series of Goddess. I love exploring my personality through these ladies. Here we have Artemis (with, YES, a Bettie Page flair), Aphrodite, and Athena, my personal favourite. These are done with ink on artists' trading cards. It was fun to work on such a tight area, but hard! Hope you enjoy :)

For the Cancer Man ;)

 

Broken Dolly

Sometimes we fall in love. Then we fall out of it. After my first torrid love affair (at 22) I became pregnant. Believing in Love I married the man. We had another baby. Now those babies are 6 and 9 years old, and I have been discarded. My kids and I miss eachother, but there is no love anymore from any other direction.

It wasn't fair, but I shouldn't be surprised about that. I was never told that life is fair, or that people are just. Still, one FEELS. I wish to forgive my ex-spouse for the harms he heaped on me because I need to move forward, love myself again.

I drew this purely for therapy. I need to express my horror at being thrown away and excluded from my little family. I bore my children under my heart. I made them with my body. My uses continued after their birth, but my man wanted new toys and got sick of the sight of this one. And so I was run out....

Someday I'll find the person who makes me feel like a goddess rather than a sack of trash. Someday I'll find a man who thinks I'm good enough to fuck AND take out on dates. All I care about is not being a dolly anymore, and NOT BEING BROKEN.

Back in the game

I haven't been to a long-pose figure drawing studio in quite some time! 9 months to be precise, when I gave up my own studio. Running the thing kinda took the fun out of it. After my hiatus it feels wonderful to focus on a long pose. I felt kind of rusty I admit! I had fun, and that's the whole point of playing. 

This model is one of my favourites for her quiet confidence :)

Free as a F@cking bird

It's been a very long time since I posted for a simple reason: my husband of over 9 years ran me out of my home with a weapon, and I am homeless now. I am enjoying the homelessness because of the newfound sense of complete freedom. I am like a cat, and happily found kind people who have taken me in and are feeding me and making sure I have a place to shower and clean my clothes.

I have been away from my "stuff" for six weeks now. I am loathe to retreive most of it. I miss my art supplies, and that's about all. Now I understand how possesions weigh us down and trap us.

I drew this two days ago after an amazing acid trip: Seed of Life is aptly named. And I realized my own freedom, and that I am my own best friend.

I can fly

I am a predator

Feast of Fools

unfinished but fun :)

Here are two drawings I worked on while on my little holiday at Motion Notion music festival, just outside of Drayton Valley here in gorgeous Alberta. I had the time of my life :) Being able to dress up and dance all night is a mind-expanding experience. Seeing community form in a matter of hours and sustaining a group of like-minded individuals is healing. Being complimented on my artwork and costumes didn't hurt either!

I recommend that we all dress up and put on costumes from time to time. You can only really find yourself by being someone else now and then. It's refreshing :)

Passers-by at Motion Notion