the Chakra Dragon

the Chakra Dragon - part of a collaborative piece. Certainly felt refreshing to paint again. I'm finally getting the hang of acrylics!

the joy of summer!

beautiful mushrooms of all colours grew on the forest floor where I camped this weekend. I had to capture this funny guy (fungi LOL). Sure enough, he got kicked over the next day.... mushrooms are transitory and alien and perfect :) I'm a fungi fan.

My Lady of the Spear

My inspirations as a little girl: Artemis and Pallas Athena. Today I'm going to get a tattoo of an Athenian coin high between my shoulder blades: just adding to the Greek theme of most of my tattoos. I don't have much to offer the gods except for my own skin, the only thing that is really and truly mine.

And yes, both are Virgin goddesses... such a shame, really, since they seem to want me to answer their sterile call and it feels like a kind of death. They are just gonna hafta understand that "virgin" just means "unmarried" and I can certainly do that for the rest of my life!!!!!!

I go through my days in a state of spiritual bankruptcy.... being raised in the midst of the Church did that, I think, plus a natural lack of the spiritual bone in my body. Give me intellect. Give me intuition. Emotions, yes. But Spirituality? Just missing, that's all....

so I pray to myself, and that's about the only Thing I believe in!

I hope the gods do come back... their stories are full of life and colour. Adventures and woes. Gods I can relate to. Gods that get hungry or angry or horny... that's my kind of religion!

this is the sketch for the tattoo:

this is the tattoo :)

Dulce et Decorum

Two weeks ago a friend asked me if I'd be willing to draw her friend. My answer is always YES. The more practise I get the better I'll get, and I have been derelict to my drawing from life duties lately. No matter how often I give up on art, it never seems to give up on me. So yesterday morning I packed a sketchbook and three pencils and went to Dee's place to draw what I could. Luckily Dee had all the other supplies I needed, since she used to work in an art store and has EVERYTHING you could possibly want! 

This sketch is my warm-up before I dove into the final piece in conte crayon. I like its raw appearance. It captures the sense of peace she emitted. It captures the hand gesture that she wanted. The fall of light and the curve of the shadows.

The creation of the final piece became a kind of party. My close friend Dee is a great hostess and treated me like an honoured guest. When I settled into the final piece and couldn't move from my spot she brought me my beer and other treats. A few beers, eventually! We took small breaks when the model/subject and I would stretch nibble the cookies that Dee baked. She and her man made some incredible nachos and reminded me to stop working for a bit and eat. As an artist herself she knows how we can get lost in the work and not feel time pass. When you do finally pull your head out of the work you are FAMISHED....

People have been doing this for centuries. They've been nurturing and participating in the artistic experience, facilitating it. I can imagine how lively the Salons of the 18th century were, of Gertrude Stein hosting dinners for Matisse and Picasso. I think of all the movements and styles and revolutions born within the walls of private homes where the like-minded have gathered to celebrate and be together. 

I feel like I'm a part of something important. I am doing more than making marks on a page. I am creating :)

The finished piece:

Ooo she's clever.....

One of Posiedon's many monstrous children, Medusa has always been one of my favourites. Hence the tattoo of her on the Aegis on my chest. 

Some of us are just born monsters; the best thing to do is just make the best of it. Eh, Medusa?

Hellenistic Tendancies

Met a new friend for coffee yesterday. He and I discussed the dreaded artist block, and he said something that blew my mind.... "Allow yourself to make crap." Hemingway said it... and I love Hemingway.

So I decided on a new approach to blocking my block. I dug this out.... I had drawn the contour and done an initial wash over a year ago. I kept it because I hoped to finish it. I rarely pick up a drawing or painting again - I seem to want to finish a piece in a day or never look at it again. This was good practise in coming back to something!

The image is from an Attic red-figure vase from the fourth century B.C. I added a little extry to make it pop. Hope you like :) I do!

Mullitude

I'M BLOCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!

It happens to every creator eventually. Nature is made up of ebbs and flows, so I guess it's time to balance out the last three years.

Sometimes a block is a blessed holiday from the pressure of making art. It's a double-edged sword. When I'm in a roll it feels euphoric and I feel proud and happy, but also I have harder time focusing on the little details of normal day-to-day life. And yes, I have to masquerade as normal sometimes... I am a mom, I have a job, I have roles and respsonsibilities to fill. Sometimes art gets in the way. When I'm blocked I take a holiday from myself. A break from the air-headed flighty art-star I kinda see myself as (frowny face). Right now, while I'm turning out either nothing or CRAP, I kinda just feel like Mom. Or just Sarah-Joy, chilling with friends after work. Not special. Just one of us all.

Besides, it always comes back.....

Siren

a new year dawns!

Happy New Year everyone!

I recently got to go on a spontaneous (YAY!) roadtrip (YAY!) I love nothing better in life than a roadtrip. I never get bored. I love watching the environment aorund me slide by and slowly change. I love seeing hawks and ravens and eagles and pelicans along the road or floating a mile high in the sky over the car. I love the moon poking into the car windows and spreading blue light on your lap. And the stars.... Oh, the stars....... and the silence wrapped in the sound of an engine purring and the road's friction under the tires...

These drawings were done with Inktense pencils and a travel brush. Not bad for being jostled so much..... hah hah!

All the best to you and yours in 2012!

A gift for a good friend <3

Inktense

Erotica is really where my heart is: I want to make people feel good about being human. I like being a human, personally. We are lucky that our sexuality is linked to our mentality. We are playful, intense, and joyful creatures. I get the added bonus of being a female human ;) I can't imagine a better thing to be on this planet.... yup, being a woman is where it's At!

Empress at Heart

Lately I feel like a queen. It's been nice to experience a little bit of adoration, to be cherished a bit. I hear that I'm beautiful now. Everyone deserves to hear that they are beautiful.

It's been wonderful to find the Empress in me, the Woman of Power. It's helping me deal with stress and work as hard as a single mom has to. I went from feeling frumpy and old and disastrous to feeling regal in a short time. 

Spirals begin with small motions on the interior, then whip outwards in ever larger circles.... I'm on my way to loving myself and discovering my true potential. It's quite the journey! 

Oh Deer....

Don't you wish, sometimes, that you could speak up for yourself a bit more? I love being a woman, yes... but I have a hard time seeing the power in it some days. Today I just feel kinda used and trampled on by life. We all have those days. I'm usually happy, but when my heart gets heavy I hit the paper and draw it out.
Some day I'd like to hold the bow and arrow, inflict the wounds. Have something to gut and chop up and eat for dinner, rather than feeling like dinner.
Agency. Without the deer there would be no hunter. I have to remember that little fact. There is power in being a woman.... right?

Athena's Turn to Pose

It's been about two weeks since I last drew.... Ack! Too long! But in my defense I was super busy in all the best ways. In that two weeks I have changed and grown a wee bit... and lo and behold I found my style loosened up for some reason. I used my pencil like a paintbrush for this drawing. What you DON'T see is all the marks I've erased, like I've been using the eraser to push the graphite around on the page, sculpting it. I hit it with some ink for fun. Just for fun. 

I have no idea what I'm doing when I draw: it just kind of takes me over and pushes my hand around.

So this is Pallas Athena, in the flesh. The Parthenos, the Virgin. Ol' Grey-eyes Herself. She normally is more modest than this, I admit, but I seem to put my models at ease, even when I've just pictured them in my head ;) She has cast aside her armour and spear and Aegis and is just enjoying being a beautiful woman in her own beautiful skin. As we all should now and then.

I generally enjoy my own drawings! This one feels a bit rusty to me though, and I immediately see a million things I want to tweak, but Hey, it's my day off and I want to drink a beer and watch Breaking Bad and relax a bit... so that's what I'm going to do! I hope you enjoy it :D

Artemis, Goddess Extraodinaire!

Artemis, Goddess of the Moon and the Hunt, is one of my favourite subjects to explore. I have this fun vision of her as a strong independant young lady, but I also see her as very saucy and flirty. Just because she is a "virgin" doesn't mean she doesn't know how to have a good time.... after all she tends to be surrounded by other beautiful young lady followers. The Greeks had a word or two for homosexuality but I'll bet Artemis kept her business to herself......

I drew this with graphite while listening to MIA's newest album MAYA, so I'm sure she's about to bounce off the page. Her hips seem to be wiggling to MIA's amazing beats. The music I listen to while drawing always effects my final desicions, unconsciously. Then I nailed down the contour with a felt pen and hit her with some acrylic ink and watercolour. And some China ink for her luxurious black locks.

All told this picture took about two and a half hours. It was an awesome way to spend a day off!
I drew this to impress a new friend of mine, who is also an artist.... what me show off? Never! ^.^

From the Moment We are Born we Begin to Die

 

 I'm not sure I ever want to make money from my art, or try to hustle it, or use it so badly as that. Art has another purpose in my life. Since I can't help but draw and paint I'll keep doing it, sure! but art is no Career. That would cheapen it. 

I did this painting for therapy and I'll share it with you. That's proof of my own generosity. I hope maybe it will help another person out there who is feeling ripped up and caged the same way as I do. I don't want to make a dime off my art, I just want to get through each ugly day. Making art affords me a chance to set my mind on something less ugly.

We are trying to start a revolution but have forgotten how to stand up for ourselves. We forget that YES we are born free, live free, and die free. We are all trying to get by. Find love. Find the next meal and a place to sleep safely. We are no more than animals. Look at how we treat animals - is it no wonder we treat each other so poorly? I am an animal. A ferocious one. A feral one. And one that wants to rip out her own heart and eat it.

It may sustain me another day. 

I'm Living

Bad things happen to good people. That's when we learn what we are really made of. I am made of some tough stuff, lemme tell ya! I decided not to get down about what I've gone through here in the USA, but instead I am making the very best of a scary situation. 

I don't travel as much as I'd like to. Now I think that's most likely a good thing. Being stranded in a country that is not your own can be scary, but it can also be exciting and wonderful. I found my way to my good friend here in the USA and she is nurturing me and caring for me. I'm glad I bounced back from my bad experience, glad I am as strong as I hoped I was.

So my impressions of the USA? Be careful and watch your step, but it can be fun......

Goddess Tryptic

 Here is a little series of Goddess. I love exploring my personality through these ladies. Here we have Artemis (with, YES, a Bettie Page flair), Aphrodite, and Athena, my personal favourite. These are done with ink on artists' trading cards. It was fun to work on such a tight area, but hard! Hope you enjoy :)

For the Cancer Man ;)

 

Broken Dolly

Sometimes we fall in love. Then we fall out of it. After my first torrid love affair (at 22) I became pregnant. Believing in Love I married the man. We had another baby. Now those babies are 6 and 9 years old, and I have been discarded. My kids and I miss eachother, but there is no love anymore from any other direction.

It wasn't fair, but I shouldn't be surprised about that. I was never told that life is fair, or that people are just. Still, one FEELS. I wish to forgive my ex-spouse for the harms he heaped on me because I need to move forward, love myself again.

I drew this purely for therapy. I need to express my horror at being thrown away and excluded from my little family. I bore my children under my heart. I made them with my body. My uses continued after their birth, but my man wanted new toys and got sick of the sight of this one. And so I was run out....

Someday I'll find the person who makes me feel like a goddess rather than a sack of trash. Someday I'll find a man who thinks I'm good enough to fuck AND take out on dates. All I care about is not being a dolly anymore, and NOT BEING BROKEN.

Back in the game

I haven't been to a long-pose figure drawing studio in quite some time! 9 months to be precise, when I gave up my own studio. Running the thing kinda took the fun out of it. After my hiatus it feels wonderful to focus on a long pose. I felt kind of rusty I admit! I had fun, and that's the whole point of playing. 

This model is one of my favourites for her quiet confidence :)